Lessons Learnt – Twenty16

Wow how fast has the year gone.

8months later from my last post…

There were many lessons to be learnt this year.

TWENTY16…

One learnt how to manage things better each time I fall knowing where I stand every time. Although sometimes this backfires but each time when this happens I gain and learn a new perspective or lesson to become a better me.

There is this adage you fall seven times stand up eight. And know that it is okay to fail. With that in mind when learning this lesson you can be more resilient whenever you have to battle it out again. Know that you then have room to grow for  your personal development and for the greater good. Realise you are human and you make mistakes. And you can’t control everything. You need to understand that you are doing the best that you can. Don’t blame yourself once again. Keep trying. And that’s enough.

Don’t compare and despair as comparison is the thief of joy. Your journey and what you learn along the way is different from other people. So focus on you – Stop hating yourself for everything you aren’t and start loving yourself for everything you already are.  You need to ignore what everyone else is doing and achieving. Your life is about breaking your own limits and outgrowing yourself to live your best life. You are not in competition with anyone else; plan to outdo your past, not other people. Become a better you. Focus on being a better you. Show the light that emanates within in you and take the time out for yourself.

I hope you realise that every sunrise you wake up to, gives you another chance to forgive people and be a better person. Don’t waste it.  There is always a brand new day as the darkest of nights will end and the sun will rise. Rather than seeing your problems as problems see them as blessings in disguise and that is what they will become.  The happiest people do not have the best of everything they make the best of everything with what they have.  You have the choice to be happy. Joseph Addison suggested three grand essentials to happiness in this life something to do, something to love, and something to hope for.

There are always going to be good days and bad days. So trust assuredly that there is hope in recovery. Everyday may not be good but there is something good in everyday. You may not see it but remember that there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Sometimes I get anxious as a lovely social worker once said to me feel the fear and do it anyway. Being complacent is great but there has to be a time when you have to get out of your comfort zone.  You know, sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of Insane courage. Just literally twenty seconds of just embarrassing bravery. And I promise you, something great will come it. – Benjamin Mee. Once you done that congratulations (hi five or self pat on the back) because it took you that much will power to do the things that you had to do – particularly when you have anxiety, depression or lack motivation most commonly known with people who have a mental illness. So never underestimate yourself, you are so strong! Just think that you have survived another day… Strength grows in the moments when you think you can’t go on but you keep going anyway or as Dory would say keep on swimming, swimming, swimming – since I am a mermaid lol…

Believe that things will get better. Sometimes you have to fight the worst in life to get to your best life now. As Mark twain quotes the two most important days in your life are the day you were born and the day you find out why.

You have a purpose.

You are called to greatness.

You are set apart.

+

You were created to make a difference.

But know this you can’t please everybody. This will always forever be for me a lesson I am learning each and every day. Don’t try to be a people pleaser – be who you are. I was reading once if you try to be a people pleaser you have no time to live for yourself. So dare to be yourself – be who you are not what the world tells you, say what you feel and those people who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind – Dr Seuss. Rita Mae Brown adamantly states that some people will love for who you are, some people will love you for what you do for them and then there are those that don’t like you at all. If they don’t then that is not your problem or your business – what they think of you.  Food for thought even if this is so you can try to be nice ad try to believe the best in others regardless of this. As a schizophrenic I hear many voices and they can hear my thoughts – I am only human and sometimes I think the wrong things. I also learnt that you don’t have to believe everything you think about what is inside your head. Sometimes I really get paranoid because of the internal dialogue I have. Know this I am not the only person inside my head and sometimes the negative reinforcement of oscillations imposed in my way of thinking is pernicious and mostly detrimental to my state of mind and my emotions also. For instance I question did I really say that. I can’t really explain I will explain it in another blog post. Well I am still learning that if you don’t learn to shut the voices (negative ones)them out now they will forever haunt you living rent free in your head. So don’t listen to them the voices that is especially when it’s negative. There is this 5 year and 5 minute rule if it doesn’t affect you in 5 years why spend 5 minutes worrying about it. Or take the Must read the following advice:

 

Few years down the road by R.L.

Few years down the road,

You won’t remember why

You cried tonight.

 

Few years down the road,

The person bothering you now

Won’t be a problem anymore.

 

Few years down the road,

You won’t remember the pain

You’ve to put through

To study this test.

 

So if few years down the road,

These things won’t

Affect you anymore,

Why let them affect you

Now???

 

Be kind to everyone you meet for they may be fighting a battle that we know nothing about. Sometimes a smile, saying hello, asking how people are or complimenting them can go a long long way. For instance they may be having a bad day, or they want to end their life that day and just a kind gesture from someone might stop them from killing themselves.

If you were thinking about attempting suicide:

This is a sign not to kill yourself!!!!

Never underestimate yourself, you are so strong! Just think that you have survived another day… Strength grows in the moments when you think you can’t go on but you keep going anyway.

DO NOT KILL YOURSELF…

STAY ALIVE.PEOPLE LOVE YOU.DO NOT GIVE UP.

There are so many people that you haven’t met yet, places to go, places to see and more…

More sleep

More music

More tea

More books

More sunsets

More creating

More long walks

More laughter

More hugs

More dreaming

More road trips

More fun

More love

 

You’ll need coffee shops and sunsets and road trips. Airplanes and passports and new songs and old songs, but people more than anything else. You will need other people and you will need to be that other person to someone else, a living, breathing, screaming invitation to believe better things. – Jamie Tworkowski. No man is an island and as I said earlier you are not alone. So surround yourself with people that can see your greatness and support you in good and bad times and even the in betweens. Having great support is essential. there is still a lot of stigma relating to that of mental illness due to this the person may isolate themselves, not ask for help and not receive medicine and therapy  that is need for their recovery plan and they suffer in silence. To those that have great support express gratitude towards them. Yes express gratitude… So everyday I have will ask myself what am I grateful for and write them in my journal or on Twitter/blog. Because you should be grateful for what you have as one day the little things end up being biggest and important things. Most of all I will tell my lovely family that I love them everyday because life is short and you never know when you are going to die. So make the most of everything.  Again the happiest people make the most of what they have.

Fall in love with yourself and believe in yourself because if you don’t… then who will? Affirmations are great for this. For instance one positive thought in the morning can set the tone for the day. Also by repeating or speaking these affirmations then you will finally believe it and your attitude changes. Having a bad attitude is no good and doesn’t serve anyone. Example of affirmations used…

 

I’m starting over with…

A new pattern of thoughts.

A New wave of emotions.

A new connection to the world

A new belief system in myself.

 

I will celebrate the small victories in my life and stay motivated by them.

 

Remember that you’re reason for doing this is to make your life better.

 

I sincerely hope that everyone finds happiness in their lives.

 

Most of the time there is nothing to fear.

 

When life gets tough, I can persist.

 

I will make the most of this situation.

 

I will see through eyes of compassion. Speak with the language of love. – Rumi

 

Think big + work hard. Fail fast, but be resilient. See possibility +grab it. Inspire. Help. Teach. Learn. Remember where you started and where you want to go.

 

Out of clutter, find simplicity. From discord, find harmony. In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity. – Albert Einstein

 

You can make up your own too…

For more affirmations find it in Steve Handel book – The Science of Self-Affirmations.

By doing this you are able to change your words and therefore change your life…